Annals of Home Ownership

I recently wrote about the horrid condition of our yard, and how I vowed that this year will be different. I have now taken steps to ensure that this year we will not be fined by the city, nor will the ants get to take over a whole room in our house, to the point where we moved our stuff out, and they stayed. Sad, but true.

The first step was to find someone to mow and edge the yard, since neither R nor I have the time (or the babysitting support) to do it. I solicited quotes from a few local lawn care companies, and proceeded to faint in horror every time I got one. The lowest one was $1500 (for the growing season), and that was just for mowing and edging, without any weed or pest control. It escalated from there. Now I'm sure that these are reasonable charges, but unfortunately I just can't afford them at this time. So I compromised. I hired my brother to mow, weed, and edge twice a month, and water the yard once a week. We agreed that $100 dollars a month is a reasonable charge for this. More importantly, it's one that I can afford.

The second step was to find someone to defend against the impending ant invasion. Exterminator Man came over this morning, looked around the house and yard, and declared that we had a "moderate fire ant problem." He sprayed the outside and put some dust in our weepholes and gave us a 90 day guarantee for ant prevention inside the house. When EM was done with his ant prevention, he called me out to the back yard to show me the termite damage on our fence. He recommended some products that we could use around the yard to prevent the ant mounds and to protect the fence and the wooden play set from termite damage. Then he took a deep breath and said:

EM: Is this your first house?
Lisa: Yes.
EM: [surveys the already knee-high weeds we're standing in, the termite damaged fence, the ant mounds, the tall grass that still rings the house, and shook his head]
EM: Taking care of the yard is just as important as the interior of the house, you know.
Lisa: [wishing the ground would swallow her where she stands] Yes, yes I know.
EM: This is impacting your property value.
Lisa: Believe me, I understand that. That's why you're here! [flattery will get you everywhere?]
EM: [nods head] Prevention is important, but you have to keep doing it!
Lisa: Yes! Thank you, Exterminator Man!

Really, he was very nice, but he clearly felt compelled to lead the idiot homeowner down the path of righteous yard maintenance. He only charged me $100 and he gave me some pretty good advice regarding further ant prevention. But it was truly, horribly embarrassing.

I think the house is pretty peeved about the yard. It's starting to turn on us. Yesterday the bathroom sink sprung a gushing leak and flooded the cabinet. I got to spend 30 minutes sopping up water and trying to keep the Moosh from licking it off the floor. He was most displeased. Now that cabinet is clean, and there is a plastic basin situated under the leak to catch the water until R has time to fix it.

My husband likes my family, but they are not good homeowners or good housekeepers. I definitely come from that family. Whenever the house becomes particularly egregious (to his super picky sensibilites), he will refer to it as the "Cloutier family home" just to piss me off. Luckily I am not my parents. In their home the situation would be the same, but it would persist for years on end. At least our problem will get fixed this year. I hope.